posted 15th October 2025
Living In Fear Or Living Life
There have been many times in my life where I have been like "what the hell am I doing?" and "why the hell did I agree to this". When at the time of booking or implementation there was zero hesitation, only excitement.
But let me tell you something, within though's moments of what seemed like regret, I walked the storm and found another beautiful rainbow of life, on the other side. One that was even better than the one I had dreamed of.
What I have noticed, is people like to do what they know; what is familiar. But are they fulfilled? Are they happy? Are they content with how their life looks? Or are they just fulfilled, happy and content by the fact that what they have is safe, somewhat predictable and they can be by illusion, in control.
Well, sorry to break your bubble, but that is not living. That is just doing anything in your nature to stop yourself from facing FEAR. Your just playing safe to avoid fear.
But what actually is fear? Because it looks very different for everyone I know! Lets break it down.....
Take A Look At Your Fear
So, put simply, a fear is something you don't feel comfortable with. Its something that scares you. You may get sweaty palms thinking about it, your heart beat races, your breath becomes more shallow, your blood cant get round your body quick enough and you feel dizzy, light headed, nauseous.... oh and look at that, it looks exactly like anxiety and the beginning of a panic attack, if not curbed quickly.
Phobiasare extreme fears that send us into complete meltdown if not managed correctly. I have emetaphobia, so believe me, I know what it feels like. Im glad to say that I manage this much better today than I did even a few years ago. Even more so since I was a child, when I would avoid certain situations, people and foods just to supposedly keep myself safe.
My point is, if you don't face your fears, you spend your whole life just trying to avoid them and in doing so, miss out on a lot of life and joy.... notably the things that you crave, or really would want to see in your life.
Let me give you some examples:
Fear Of Being Seen can show up as not putting yourself out there, avoiding the limelight, not going after what, not sharing your gifts with others, not telling others your dreams, staying in the same job/relationship/friendship groups, and not branching out to the new.
Fear Of Failure can show up as procrastination, self sabotaging the good that does come, constantly making excuses as to why you cant start, perfectionism traits that make you criticise everything you do.
Fear Of Not Being Liked can show up as preferring to spend time on your own, people pleasing tendencies, making excuses to not join in group activities, no attempt to pursue a partner.
Fear Of Being Used can show up as questioning and analysing everyones motives, explosively reactive to any little element of criticism, defensive, not letting anyone in.
Fear Of Sickness can show up as avoiding people who are sick and have been sick for as long as possible, taking a number of medications and vitamins to stop yourself from being sick, even if your not sick, not travelling to places that have poor hygiene standards, extreme cleaning routines, avoiding eating out or having anyone else cook for you other than yourself.
What You Are Avoiding Is Wanting Your Attention
Can you see how if you spend all your time avoiding things you supposedly don't like, enjoy or fear, you are actually avoiding a part of yourself and a big part of your life. The shadow.
Light cannot exist without shadow and shadow cannot exist without light.
You want to shine bright? In your work place? in your love life?
You want your life to be lighter?
Well unless you lean into your fears (in your shadow), knowing what they are and facing them, you're just living in a perpetual state of anxiety; not knowing if you will or wont meet that fear, but hoping with the parameters you put in place it will hopefully give you a safety net......
Can you see the holes in this situation?
Can you see how you are avoiding so many things just to keep this illusion of safety in place?
Fear of going out? The only way out is to go out.
Fear of failure? Your only failing when you don't try, and in fact without stepping forward to try, you cant actually understand the obstacles and the things in your way, that need to be resolved to push you forward. The path shows itself once you take the steps. No steps, no path.
Fear of intimacy? Little by little try getting closer to people. You'll see how it starts to feel more comfortable - like the work you studied for, you didn't know everything to begin with but now its familiar and feels more comfortable.
To Focus On Safety Is To Focus On Not Moving Forward
Dont get me wrong, of course there are times like within domestic abuse that safety is the answer. But not at the extent that you don't say or do anything for fear of being attacked.
You have to look at your situation and see where FEAR is holding you back from moving forward in your life. Most importantly, what are the excuses you are telling yourself that are keeping you in the same place?
Example:
I want a new job because i've been here for a long time and i'm not inspired to progress in this place, but i'm scared that I wont find another job because the market is down and I have a job, so I should be grateful.
What this does is stops you even trying.
Your desire has to be stronger than your fear, and you have to know how to feed your desire and not your fear in the process.
If you keep telling yourself the market is low, and i'm ungrateful to consider looking for a new job when I have one, you are feeding the fear.
Telling yourself that its important to try new things, to expand my horizons for my mind body and soul, and it will stop me feeling sick every time I have to go into work...this is feeding your desire.
And another thing to mention, if you don't move, your body will definitely try to move you instead...... that continuous headache? stomach cramps? crippling anxiety? fainting episodes that cant be explained.... This is your body telling you that the situation you are in - you don't want to be in, you are resisting it, trying to find a way to stop going into it.
So, where you are not taking responsibility for your own happiness, because of FEAR?
Lean Into Fear And Find Your Purpose
Leaning into fear means leaning into your potential.
Leaning into fear means strengthening your mind, body and soul.
Leaning into fear enables you to make mistakes and understand from source how to handle the same situation next time.
Leaning into fear means reaching your dreams.
Leaning into fear means bringing in more love and peace.
You don't want that?
No book, no mentor, no video can tell you how to move forward step by step because everyone is driven differently (which astrology showcases).
You have to figure out YOUR way and the only way to do that is facing YOUR fears.
Life Happens To Those Who Have Courage
That being said, i'm not saying its easy. I have been there and back with my phobia for starters.
It will feel uncomfortable
It will make you perspire
It may give you what seems like heart palpitations
But start little by little, find your edge, lean in, see another way.
Come back and try again tomorrow.
And repeat.
Exposure is KEY.
Or if you are really ready and you've had enough of feeling consumed by your fears and living a half life of what you want,DIVE IN.
Apply for that job that you think is out of your league, ask that person out, go live in a different city, try that hobby you wanted to do as kid....... because this is YOUR life.
And did you know that without stepping into what you want, you have to sit with the guilt, regret and frustration which can manifest in many ways - illness, fatigue, depression... which is much more detrimental to your health than giving it a go.
Life offers us so much and so many people just choose to dine at one menu and then they think they need to stay there, as if they got to the final destination! And then wonder why they don't feel good.
We have every menu we want, but you have to put yourself at the table to be able to dine at them all.
Stop waiting to be invited and for others to give you permission to change.
The only permission you need is your desires and not being scared of your shadows, which can include anything from confrontation to fear of failure.
Step up and show yourself because this is YOUR stage and its pretty empty without you in the story!
Want a helping hand?
I offer 121 sessions to help you overcome YOUR fears.
I also offer astrology chat readings that can help you find your purpose and direction.
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