posted 16th July 2025
A Sense Of Belonging
We share this world; we don’t own it.
In October 2024, I spent one month with my mother at Naankuse rescue and rehabilitation centre in Namibia working with rescued and orphaned big cats, elephants rhinos, and a multitude of other wild beauties including baboons, meerkats, horses, giraffes and more. It was the most incredible experience. Not only because I spent one month of my life looking after sick, injured and orphaned animals in their natural habitat but also because of the incredible work that Naankuse has been doing to try and educate the local people about animals and their place on this earth.
They are part of our ecosystem and our spiritual awareness, and for me, there isn't a division between them and us; they belong, we belong, we share this planet with them.
However, I'm very much aware, having lived in different parts of the world and having friends/family from different nationalities, that not everybody thinks the same about animals.
Thinking beyond what we know
I remember showing pictures of my trip to family members at Christmas last year and to my shock, one the first things that was said by one of those members was not “gosh what an incredible experience”, “wow, look at what Naankuse is doing for these animals, the environment, the economy in Namibia and people”…. No, the statement was:
“I just don’t think travelling a lot is a good thing, you never feel like you belong anywhere”
Now this came from a person who has only ever travelled in Europe and has only ever stayed in in five/four-star hotels, never venturing outside of the pool, the buffet area and the beach, bar maybe to see typical local tourist site, chauffeured by a package deal from a UK company. Now don't get me wrong, this is not a dig at people who like to have that kind of holiday, but making such a statement when you haven’t been outside of the comforts of Europe, nor, in this case volunteered in a completely different environment for the sake of others; how can you feel the right to even make such a statement?
I was obviously affected by the comment, so I turned around and said “I don't think you would feel that way if you had extensively travelled”, and the response I got was, “I have extensively travelled, thank you very much.”
This irritated me further, because there is a big difference in my eyes to travelling and having a holiday. My idea of travelling is getting out of your comfort zone, doing things you would never do at home, indulging in the local culture, meeting people from other worlds, not doing the same things as you would do at home, just in a different place. Yes, with a holiday you may have physically travelled out of the UK, but you brought the UK customs, ideas and your daily structure and lifestyle with you…. Have you seen Brit's abroad? They want the full English breakfast where there is a local tavern with local home cooked food 5 minutes away, they don’t speak to the locals in their language, they expect them to speak theirs, and all they are waiting for is Pimm’s o’clock on the beach, because in UK its only Pimms o’clock when the sun is shining.
So where am I going with this… well my point is when we stick to what we know, we only know what we stick to. Then it becomes our so-called identity, which is something we tend to attach ourselves, and bind more strongely to the ego and not the true self. Now if you read my previous blog last week you know that the more you break down that created identity (ego), the more you find your true loving self and the happier you are. And, in turn, wnt be attached to external factors that are supposedly keeping you safe and happy.
Isn’t it just all an illusion you commit to in your head anyway? Who are you without those parameters of your house, your career, your bank account?
My second point is, that I believe the above statement did not only come from a place of jealousy; jealous of the fact that she couldn't do something like that with her daughter, because maybe her daughter wouldn't want to or they don't have that bond, and envious of maybe my courageousness to step outside my comfort zone time and time again without the fear of letting go of any tailor made securities in England.... which in fact i don't have any to rely, or that I would rely on anyhow.
However , I don't think said person was aware of any of this, and without self-awareness we can't even consider the need to breakdown those notes of illusion, because those are the only things that have been clung onto for a sense of belonging, and it would mean shattering a sense of a identity which most cannot be without.
What people say is only a reflection of themselves and not you.
I felt like the person in question had segregated herself from her own feelings in that moment and, in turn, made me feel segregated in my immediate families living room.
Maybe you have heard the series around bullying; normally the person who's bullying has a deep sense of unworthiness or sense of feeling less than, and in that moment will aggravate the victim to try and make them feel what they feel to make themselves feel better. The ironic thing is, at the end of the day every single human being wants to feel like they belong ,so in segregating others, we also segregate ourselves.
Bringing that sense of belonging back is to really remembering that every single person in the room, in your workplace, at home, all have different opinions and views based on the experiences they have only had so far in that life, but it doesn't necessarily mean that one is in higher regard over the other. I think if we can spend more time enquiring and also remembering that what you give out is a domino effect on the rest of the world; so if you're giving out hatred, if you're giving out rejection, if you're giving out harsh words, if you're giving out one dimensional statements, or jealousy for instance, you are basically saying that what I say matters and what you say means nothing. This creates a space of resistance; an automatic distance and immediate disconnection.....sense of belonging.
We belong where we feel we are accepted
So, what actually makes us feel like we belong.
Some people, no matter what they do in life they just don't feel connected with others. If you were at school during the 90s with one way teaching systems, you will remember that if everybody else understands what the teacher is saying and you don't, of course you feel this natural sense of disconnect and feeling of being unaccepted. This is not because you are disconnected as a human, but because the system and society have planted ideals that we are all meant to follow to become smart, right etc…. But all this really is, is getting people in line so they can control.
Nowadays, in the UK schools in particular, we have different strategies to teach different types of people, because there is now the understanding that everybody does learn differently. It doesn't mean that because one person can learn a certain way very well and the other person cannot, that one is better than the other. It’s like comparing a fish and a bird in their abilities to swim ……
However, I just wanted to share my experience on belonging because when I was attached soley to the ego, my sense of belonging came from external factors only. So, for instance, the goals I put out and achieved gave me sense of belonging, the money I had in my bank gave me a sense of belonging, people listening to me and understanding me gave me a sense of belonging, although it was at the cost of me pretending to be something I actually wasn’t. Creating an identity that was acceptable in societies eyes.
Since I've worked to eradicate and unravel this egocentric lifestyle that I previously had, it has been harder for me to feel a sense of belonging in each moment. However, where I put my focus makes a difference: when I wake up in the morning I think about what I’m giving out to the world, what have I got to offer today, rather than thinking about what I don’t have, that maybe is perceived as hindering me externally.
If I look at the times I felt incredibly deeply connected to the world, a feeling of contentment, it was that time when I worked in Naankuse, because collectively it wasn't about who you were, what you did as a job, what you looked like, what you're wearing, what’s in your bank account. It was about what are we doing together that's making a difference, and in that moment I just felt such a sense of wholeness, peace and interconnectedness. It was the same when I worked in Sri Lanka rehabilitating injured turtles. I just left a really horrible contract in Dubai with an English misogynistic and incredibly egotistic manager; somewhere I just I couldn't function or strive. I decided to go and work for a month in Sri Lanka with the turtles, in a rescue and rehabilitation and rescue centre in Galbokka. I felt deeply at ease during my whole time there, yet nothing else had changed in my status. In fact, some would say that I had put myself in a worse situation logically and from a societal standpoint, as I had no job, no home, and was in limbo regarding my fiancée. Yet how come in these moments did I feel all the things I was craving to feel in my regular daily life back home? The craving for joy, peace, contentment, ease, warmth, acceptance.
So my questions are, why have we built out cities and villages in society into breeding grounds to divide each other based on this and that? Why do we seat each other in different levels based on authority defined by wealth or fame on a plastic screen? Why can’t we see each other as a piece of the same earthly puzzle? Neither good nor bad, all have a role to play in the grander scale of things. Some to teach, some to show the way.
We all have one great thing in common: we all have the right to belong here..... so why not make everyone welcome.
