posted 1st September 2025
The down side of perfectionism
We all strive to be better in our own individual way, giving focus to our internal and external priorities that hopefully get us to our sense of achievement and desired goals.
Some level beauty as most notable, indulging in aesthetic treatments and procedures, clothes, bags and accessories to keep them looking their best….
There are those who make bucket lists of places, adventures and adrenaline fuelled activities to be ticked off in time, striving for the next move….
People who keep their circuit small and private, creating a schedule of family and home memories day by day, week by week, hour by hour, hugging a blanket of comforting moments around them
Some value cars over people
Animals over cars
Being in nature over cities
Love over money
Fame over wisdom
But these are all surface play. Covering the underworld of emotions, traumas, ancestral wounds and battles that motivate our desires, and generally the layer that helps hide the internal drives from passes by.
If your someone like me that has always been predominately motivated by your inner world, you would know how it feels not to fit in within society norms. For instance, wearing the latest trends to keep up appearances, following the societal timeline guide book … go to school, get a job, get a partner, get married, buy a house, retire.. only go on holiday “if you can afford it” or as a “reward” .
I have never done any of those things because I’ve been focusing on clearing obstacles in this lifetime, to make me a stronger person emotionally, independently and mindfully, not relying on external factors to be my main support of wellbeing, and overall clearing the way for the next generation to enjoy oneself more.
But hang on… what an earth did I just say!! Clearing the way for the NEXT generation to enjoy oneself more?
When its your own life, arn't you meant to be living for you?
This has been a massive awakening for me this week, it really made me think about if I am really living or if I am spending my whole-time healing for the sake of others.
Awakening
So, to explain this in a bit more detail and to give you a personal update, I am currently in Bali, because I gravitate to this place time and time again and it helps me focus on reconnecting back to my soul. I believe this is because Bali has a very thin veil between this world and the next and every time I come here I experience great transformation within me. This is definitely also something to do with my Kiron line being nearby in my Astro Cartography, because Kiron is the planet holding your deepest wound and depending on which house and aspect it is in your chart will determine where you need healing.
If you have ever been to Bali and you are someone who has a spiritual practice, you will know it kind of calls you back…..if there is something that still needs clearing.
So, what came up for me this week is weather I am waiting in the wings rehearsing too much, or if I have a good enough balance of working on myself to be a better soul as well as enjoying the physical elements of joy that life has to offer. Subjective much! I definitely feel it depends on your motivate to which you do things.
What I noticed is a feeling of not being “healed enough” has lead me to be constantly working, constantly in a state of anxiety about being good enough, and always waiting for the right moment to do things- for the situation to be "aligned".
Stop living in the wings
So let’s break this down to understand how we can all create a better balance of striving to a be better human morally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, help future generations, and most importantly feel and accept pleasure and enjoyment in life as we are today… flaws and all.
So first up, let’s ask these questions to ourselves:
Do you feel you have to be the best at something to enjoy it?
Do you feel you have to achieve something to enjoy something?
Do you feel you have to give something to receive something?
The answer to all of this is NO.
We all have a tendency to think otherwise. Maybe as a reflection you can even remember some situations where the answer YES played out here.
Especially if you are someone like me who thinks firstly of others, its hard to consider what might be a preference for you as well.
Then let’s ask:
In the last week, the last month and the last year, what did you just for fun? No agenda or hidden momentum attached to it?
If you can’t think of anything then the first thing id advise you do is go and do something just for fun… be it a dance class, a trip, meeting up with someone, cooking something just for the sake of it.
Then Consider
Can you let go of your goals just for one day to do something you have never done before?
Examples:
Situation:
Maybe you are in a strict fitness routine and to have a day off from a work out feels uncomfortable or wrong?
Consider:
Could you do that, just for one day?
Situation:
Can you just take a trip somewhere without it being a tick off the list?
Consider:
Can it be just a chance to enjoy a moment of your time?
Situation:
When you get to a new place, do you feel you have to do things because you are in said place and don’t want to be missing out?
Consider:
How about just doing what you feel in that moment? Not following others idea of a good time.
Consider:
Can you go on that date, even though the person doesn’t tick all the boxes for you in an instant?
Situation:
Do you always wait for someone else to do something first before you try it?
Consider:
Be the first? Do it well, do it bad… just do it!
Round up
We can still live on the stage of life and do the background work, instead of just waiting in the wings for the so-called right moment, right person, right place, right thing to be aligned to step into the life we want.
A reminder that life is waiting for you, ready, you are ready too and somethings cannot be learnt through a book or in silence, or on a yoga mat, or in meditation (yes the yoga teacher is saying that). Obstacles can only be overcome in the situation, in reality, not in the pre-game. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to reflect, its good to prepare but not so much you are always on the fence…..when you face the situation, you naturally find a way to adapt to it, being able to utilise your skills and tools, and if you didn’t you experience the lesson to try it a different way next time.
So, stop waiting in the wings, because life is happening right in front of you and the more you wait, the more you do your inner work, the more life passes you by without you having the chance to experiment within it and make memories in the process.
Because in the end, the only thing we leave with is memories, we cant take our material possessions to the grave or to the next life…. Or so I imagine.
Want to chat?
Give me an email hello@tealingarden.com
Let’s have a laugh about the things you tried and failed, and a little dance about the things you were good at.
