posted 1st October 2025
Navigating pain
Acknowledgement
Stubbing your toe on the coffee table corner, twisting your ankle running for the bus, breaking your elbow going over the handlebars on your bike or getting whiplash from a fairground ride you didn't want to go on anyway. At some point in your childhood you probably experienced one or two of these things. The pain came and went, you were upset for the moment, but moved forward from it.
But what about that injury that never got resolved, or losing someone close to you unexpectedly…. These things freeze you in time, casting a shadow over your free spirit and open self.
I know, I have been on a 21 year journey of pain management, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
You want to run, but you cant, you want to love someone else, but you've turned the other way just before the chance arises. You want to be the person you were, but you just aren't.
It takes a piece of your soul, it turns your shine merky and you walkthrough life with luggage you just cant seem to send off on holiday.
It hurts the most because its always with you. The pain of suffering, alongside the physical pain.
My story in a nutshell
Its hard to write this without it coming out rambling and confused, simply because I dont just have one pain in my body and it moves around.
But lets start from the beginning. I went to dance classes at a young age but always had problems with pain in my right knee and my hips always clicking out of place. I believed being active helped me but a lack of understanding of my bodies individual needs hindered my strength.
In 2005 I went to Arts educational schools on the musical theatre course. The dance training was intense and honestly I couldn't keep up with the demand. Everything ached day in day out and although I was getting stronger I struggled with certain movements - sit ups being the worse as it felt like fire on my tailbone and I found balance incredibly difficult, especially on my right side... I could never feel my centre. teachers were not supportive unless you push through pain.
Cut to the end of the first year and I slipped on water in a dance class doing a grande jete.
I went to hospital and they were completely unhelpful only saying to be on crutches for a number of weeks and to take anti inflammatories. I had private physio and osteopathic treatment but after the swelling in my right ankle and knee went down, I still couldn't bend my right knee into my chest without feeling like I was compressing a nerve, I collapsed out of bed most mornings where I had numbing on my right side of the body and sitting was unbearably painful causing a crushing nerve like pain, up my back and into my neck, face and behind my right eye.
This never really went away. Some days I just don't want to get out of bed and the frustration of others not understanding (mainly physicians who want to pan me off as "its in all in my head") is normally the worse part, because I feel like I am alone on this journey.
Scans show I have a labral tear in my right hip and my chiropractor acknowledges my pelvis gets twisted out easily, along with the vertebra in the top of my neck getting pushed over to the right in the process. We don't know why it happens but its painful, very painful.
Finding ways to cope
So pain seems to stay with me, day in day out. Sometimes I don't sleep because of the pain and when my cortisol is high due to stress or hormonal changes its 10 x worse for sure. I can acknowledge that.
The hardest thing for me is I like to be active, I was the girl who could jump high and go for a good run. Dance all night in the club with no alcohol. and it was my way to get rid of stress or solve a problem. I love to move my body.
When something you love to do gets taken away from you, a piece of your soul gets taken also.
So how then do you move through life when you feel like you are being half of yourself?
You find ways to cope. And here I am sharing what has helped, and I write this in the hope it will also help you too.
Physical help
I can acknowledge that we will all be going through different pain in our life. However I believe there are three key areas that need to be attended to daily, in any painful situation, to be able to free yourself even a little, from the burden of the pain.
I start with the physical aspects:
Getting outside
Nature heals. Its no joke. From personal experience, if I am in pain and I walk barefoot on the grass or on the sand of a beach, I feel less pain. But why?
There is scientific evidence to this because the earth provides electrons that help to promote inflammation and promote blood flow which overall give a better sense of welbeing. You can read further information about this in Science Direct
Moving the body
Now in my case some days this feels impossible and maybe its the same for you, but I force mysefl every day to move, go for a walk, go for a swim, do some light yoga. Wherever I am at in the day, if its high pain I just go for a walk, if its lower pain i do some yoga, if im by a pool and im either or the low resistance of swimming is very beneficial. its also like a meditation once I get into it also. Movement boosts circulation and in turn blood flow, it boost serotonin also which is something that f you are in pain you lack easily.
Doing something you enjoy
Weather its having your favourite cup of tea in your favourite cafe, making your favourite hot chocolate or dinner menu, planning a trip, spending time with friends, just do it, plan it, make it happen. dont wait until you "feel a bit better" to do it. These things, weather you are in pain or not will make you feel better. There isn't a rule that says you can only do these things when you are feeling your best. In doing these things you will see a change in your mood weather in pain or not.
Please note - this does not correlate for those who physically sick. Maybe bed is all you need in this case.
Mental exercise
Free your fascia
Did you know that stored trauma, emotions and pain can be stored in the fascia? that connective tissue that integrates and brings together all your bones, muscles, tendons and ligament. Its true. Ever done a yin yoga class and felt like crying? That's a emotional release!
Yin yoga is a great way to free your mind from the clutter its holding.
Yin yoga incorporates seated stretches only (any yin yoga class where there is a downward dog or standing postures is not yin yoga btw). With every stretch that is help for between 3 - 5 mins the body learns to let go and to calm the nervous system. You'll be amazed what comes up and how much more peaceful you feel after.
If you want a 121 session I teach yin yoga privately online. You can book a session Here - head to 121s at the bottom of the page.
Meditate
Some people find meditation more stressful than helpful. In this case I advise to lie down and tell yourself you are just looking inwards for 15 mins.
Alot of our stress when we are in pain is because we are comparing ourselves to what is outside of us.
Taking time to close the eyes and bring our senses in, to connect with the pain and allow ourselves to breath into that area mentally, helps the pain free itself up.
The feeling for me of pain is tightness, constrictedness, so I focus on opening and thinking about the bigger spaces around me in the room, in the town, in the country, in the area, in the world , in the galaxy. This perspective gives me a feeling that my pain is a lot smaller than it feels, and it helps!
Breath work
When we are in pain we tend to hold our breath more. In shock, and in resistance to it.
So how to free this up... by closing the eyes and counting the breath in through the nose and out through the mouth.
Start with small sets and then build up. for instance start with in for 3 and out for 3, then in for 5 and out for 5, then in for 7 and out for seven.
When you think about the in breath, think about the breath expanding through the whole body and especially into the area of pain, giving it space to breath also. then when you exhale think of the the debris clearing out of you.
You can do this at anytime in the day, when you feel overwhelmed, stuck or just frustrated. Come back.
Read and learn
I find redirection of thought is helpful when i'm in pain. Its not a case of ignoring whats going on but its a case of taking your mind off the subject for some time to give it a rest.
I like to read a book, take a course, learn a new skill.
Maybe you like to paint, to create a clay model, to learn how to groom animals.
Try something NEW! It creates new neurological pathways in the brain for starters!
Community spirit
In such an independent world that our grandparents would have only dreamed of, we may have gone a little too far, because life without others is a problem in my eyes.
- We need to share both our wins and our loses, or they wont feel like any win or loss.
- We need to level to compare our skills and talents, to know how we are doing and where we need to improve.
- We need each other for oxytocin (the feel good hormone) to create a wholesomeness within us, or we feel lost.
This is all part of being human. We weren't born to be isolated and on our own. We need the other for the feeling of contentment, to motivate us, to inspire us, to feel love at the deepest core - which I believe comes from connection and feeling a sense of belonging.
So, there are so many online networks now to join and get involved in, to be part of a community. Connect with others that are in pain and maybe the burden wont feel so heavy anymore.
You can sign up to my newsletter for free for starters, where I host free community events and share insights. Sign up Here
Join a volunteer groupand help others that are in pain, you will feel good about what you are doing which will boost feel good hormones, you will be helping the community and you will be meeting with like minded, kind hearted people.
Get a hobby. Do something for fun. Its a great way to meet people and to share the experience of what you love. Within that there are always group outings that pop up because of these groups also. Doing something for fun also takes the pressure off you to be good at it, just do it for a laugh and to explore different ways of being. It will help you take your mind of your own problems, especially if the hobby you have chosen is a challenge for you.
"Life is the gift, don't let life's burdens stop you from living"
